27 Oct Sometimes The Holy Spirit Tells Us To Shut Up
I had just settled the kids into bed and was turning in for the night myself.
After pulling the sheets over my exhausted body I laid there skimming Facebook on my phone because, well, isn’t that what we all do before going to sleep?
In flipping from post to post I stumbled upon a blog written by an acquaintance of mine far from here. It had been some time since I’d had an actual conversation with this person, so to say I was surprised upon realizing that her blog was actually about me, my church, and my recent personal struggles… that would be an understatement.
I read the article in shock.
There were a lot of accusations.
There were a good deal of assumptions.
There was an overwhelming amount of inaccuracies.
And there was no holding back in judgement about me and my leadership.
It had been over a decade since I’d last talked to this person. She had no context or inside scoop or understanding about anything pertaining to my family’s struggles.
Yet… a blog.
I jumped up out of bed and opened my messenger app ready to forget that I was a pastor and was fully committed to DESTROYING her with my words. My thumbs were moving at lightning speed, hardly able to keep up with the anger and wrath spewing from my hurt spirit in that moment.
This message I was writing… it was strong. I wasn’t holding back. She was going to know that she had gone too far.
And then something strange happened.
The app crashed. The long, strong-worded note I’d just spent fifteen minutes on was gone. Just like that.
Although frustrated, I wasn’t going to let that stop me. I started from the top and began rewriting with even more fervor.
“Who is she to make judgements about me?” I thought, “She doesn’t even know me.”
As I neared the finish line, all of the sudden, the app crashed again. Twenty more minutes of my time down the drain.
Now, I’m not always the brightest guy in the world and I think I was a bit clouded by rage in that moment, so I opened the app one more time… and then it hit me.
Ryan, maybe you shouldn’t write this message.
I knew it was a nudge from the Man Upstairs so I tried to suppress the voice I was sensing. I so wanted to write this message.
And then I felt it again.
Just let it go. Put your phone away. Go to bed.
For a good five minutes I argued with God until finally, He won.
I put my phone away and, to my surprise, I began praying for this individual. I prayed for her marriage and her family. I prayed for her kids.
I’ll be honest, it wasn’t the best prayer. I was still a little bit angry. But it was a prayer nonetheless.
Sometimes the Holy Spirit tells us to shut up.
He knows nothing good is going to come from the passive aggressive post you want to drop on Facebook. He is well aware of how the words you’ve been saving all day for your spouse aren’t actually worth leaving your lips.
We just don’t always listen to that little voice.
At least I don’t.
The Holy Spirit leads in a lot of ways.
I can’t help but think this might be one of the more significant ones.